Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
