I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize