New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Never underestimate the power of titties
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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