He disabled his match.com account in front of me
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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