so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
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