hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
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