even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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