We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
