The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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