i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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