that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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