Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
