I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
