I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Randomize
