And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
splinters make it hard to masturbate
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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