she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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