Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
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