I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
