it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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