if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
it glows. i had to have it.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Randomize
