just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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