Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(708): View more from Illinois

I'm lost and stupid without you.

Fav 5 1733 1059
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(216): View more from Ohio

Someone shit on the floor

Fav 20 1035 3213
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(262): View more from Wisconsin

The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.

(651): View more from Minnesota

That baby is bound to be under-loved.

Fav 10 1428 4278
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(954): View more from Florida

I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."

Fav 40 5791 1173
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(281): View more from Texas

Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.

Fav 19 3919 1137
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(513): View more from Ohio

We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.

Fav 2 1762 1629
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(213): View more from California

Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch

Fav 8 2605 1089
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom

Fav 3 913 674
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(813): View more from Florida

I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.

Fav 0 810 397
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