I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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