it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
