I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
we made out on top of his cat.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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