I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
