my mouth tastes like poor choices
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
