i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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