And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
