Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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