3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
is this the sara with the beer cane?
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
