isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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