Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
