i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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