I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
