our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
