We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Randomize
