I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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