I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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