overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
