we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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