their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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