The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize