Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
NoShamevember. You game?
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
40s are totally the cure
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
