Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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