I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize