He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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