her vagine was all disorganized.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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