And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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