I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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