I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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