I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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