But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
