I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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