why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
