so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Randomize
