I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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