you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
