As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize