why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
