She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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