I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
