Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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