My first STD was from a foam party
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize